Memory #8 // Significant Negative

[medpacksapunch]

Significant Negative: 'What a sad kid...' (pg5-8)
Game 90 // Day 113, morning
Form: raver candy necklaces with 5 team colored bird candies
Shareable: 2/5
--self
--tempest
--sasuke

Summary:
Naruto has transformed/is doing the nine-tails cloak thing -- all that crazy black scratch artwork is supposed to evoke the fact that all of his skin has burned or flaked off, leaving that underneath. He is not conscious at the moment; just a very angry, very powerful monster. Kabuto remarks that Naruto must have wanted to save Sasuke so badly that he was willing to end up like that ('What a sad kid...'). Sakura thinks of the promises she made Naruto make about bringing Sasuke back, then rushes him, saying that it's okay, she'll save Sasuke for him, so that's enough--! Naruto attacks her and the memory ends.

Effects:
>>
>>...
>> ffffffffff
>> Okay no but seriously, how much guilt can Sakura carry inside her body, because that is how much she has right now. She doesn't fully understand, because she doesn't have the context/full memories for those promises, but she is aware that she is responsible for Naruto pushing himself so hard that he apparently became a monster. She is going to spend a lot of time being sort of miserable and guilt ridden and full of shame that apparently she wasn't enough help to prevent that happening to Naruto.
>> Also apparently they really fucking care about Sasuke. Sakura now has sort of ++desperate need to protect Sasuke from unknown something or other, and is also very sure that Naruto feels the same way.
>> ++guilt
>> ++desperation; must be stronger better faster &c &c &c
>> ++sad

So Sakura actually took this information probably harder in Aather than she did in canon. That's mainly because in canon they manage to recover Naruto and get him healed up and they immediately go chasing off after Sai/Orochimaru/Sasuke so she can focus on her mission/finding Sasuke omg with this new I'll-save-him-for-you mindset. She immediate gets to see Naruto improved and has a purpose to focus on.

In Aather she... does not get any of that. She has no idea what happens after that (though, she is sure that Naruto must have gotten better, because she saw him here and he certainly wasn't a monster with no human consciousness); she didn't have anything else to focus on than the terribad feelings hangover that accompanied that memory, and even in its wake she doesn't know what she can do besides more of the same of what she has been doing. She's already pushing herself insanely hard, wrt physical training, and that's really only going to get worse now -- because she sees it as her only outlet and her only course towards being able to help either Naruto or Sasuke (or Turquoise or Emil or Tavros or Mau or Fawn...)

It's also sort of, mmn-- interesting, Sakura's phrasing here. "I'll save Sasuke for you", instead of just "I'll save Sasuke" or something. It is deliberately trying to take on whatever burden Naruto is carrying around, so that he doesn't have to... well, keep on becoming a monster.

Also interesting to me, because Sakura -- like Naruto -- gets a lot of her determination from a desire to do right by other people (mostly, in Sakura's case, do right by Sasuke and Naruto). I do get the idea that the 'once in a life time request' she asked of Naruto (bring Sasuke back) was meant to be a more personal, selfish request (Bring Sasuke back for me) and with this memory in particular I think Sakura regrets that; in some ways, especially considering Naruto's monster state, she has basically asked to trade Naruto for Sasuke. And, at the specific moment of this memory, it means she has lost both of them -- Sasuke is still gone and Naruto has gotten himself lost. I don't think she fully realizes the full implications of that request until later, when Sai tells her Naruto loves her and let one of their allies kick the shit out of him for Sasuke's sake -- and that's why she is like no I totally love you now forget about that dumb promise.

But, while both Naruto and Sakura both would really love to have Sasuke back for their own sake I think they both... can't really let themselves think in purely selfish terms like that. Naruto is chasing Sasuke because he is like his only family now yes, but also for what I expect he thinks is Sasuke's sake, and for Sakura's sake. Sakura, likewise, wants (wanted, depending on what point in canon I'm looking at, I guess...) to save him for Naruto and for Sasuke. Sasuke...still remains the more important of the two, I think, even though and perhaps especially given that Sakura does try and kill Sasuke, 'before he can fall any further'. Which. I guess is arguably for Sasuke's sake? She's trying to save his...honor...I guess. What's left of it.

Which is a different track than what she'd take right now in Aather -- the memories she has right now would have her swing towards save Sasuke('s life), no matter what; to her at the moment, his overall well being and personal state of contentment is more important to her than his objective level of good-person..ness.

And then I rambled forever about canon and also blah blah Sasuke blah Sasuke I guess. I have also used up a year's supply of S, A, K and U.