medpacksapunch | ...Yes another question meme

Relationship update '-'

I THINK I TOLD YOU MOST THINGS LAST NIGHT? But yes, despite not having any of her team seven memories, nor any of her crush-on-Sasuke memories (besides the kiss one) Sasuke remains both very important to her and a very large (mostly unconscious) motivating factor for her. Aside from her desire to protect people she cares about, a lot of her motivation comes from wanting to be the sort of person Sasuke would find impressive, or at very least capable. He's sort of her Knight Examplar and she wants to live up to the kind of standards she imagines he has.

Like Itachi, she has managed to progress beyond assuming that he's just tolerating her, and it pleases her whenever they can just kind of...idk, talk and be quietly in one another's company.

Also getting to train near him sort of made her day. They were doing ninja stuff in the same general area ;3;

Is he still actively trying to get her to dislike him?

NOT ANYMORE. He doesn't seem the point to being just a jerk more than he already is when she doesn't remember anything right now. It feels unfair. So he's trying to keep his distance and failing a lot at it sometimes. FUNNILY ENOUGH, HE WILL BECOME MORE OF A JERK THE MORE SHE REMEMBERS, because if they start talking about memories he will get angry. Right now he's trying to keep this Sakura and the Sakura he remembers as separated people in a way to deal with her not knowing anything right now. If that makes any sense.

How is Sakura's relationship with Turquoise right now?

It feels unfair

...Sasuke you're adorable. Also hilarious that neither Tsunami nor "the Sakura he remembers" are an accurate representation of Sakura.

It's... less good than it has been? Sakura has always viewed Turquoise as her home and her family and as a solid unit-- and even when Echo has having problems, she still believed that of them. But then Breeze was taken by Chance (and Rolo and Paul were on hiatus oops) and that kind of left...uh, Clue in charge, as far as Sakura was concerned. And for both of the games, even though they've won, she felt like they were disorganized and kind of floundering, without Breeze, and she tried to step in and fill that void but can't do it with nearly the patience or understanding that Breeze does. So right now she feels very off balance, and very grateful Breeze is back, because apparently without their leader they aren't much of a team at all. This is very upsetting to Sakura's mental perception of Things.

How are Sasuke's guilt levels wrt Itachi, at present?

Clue in charge

I'm just here to say that's a terrible idea, and no one should ever think that. He doesn't even think that. THIS IS VERY BAD PLANNING.

YES WELL.

SHE WILL BE RE-EVALUATING THAT ASSUMPTION

Rolo is now second in command clearly '^'

That's a MUCH BETTER assumption. Clearly nothing could go wrong there.

Well

what are her other choices

Paul? Echo?

...if Breeze ever leaves us again we're doomed.

Um. Yes. Pretty much.

Sasuke's guilt levels are incredibly high! I'm going to talk about his GENERAL guilt levels since it relates back to Itachi but some are not specific to him.

He can't forgive himself for:
- believing that Itachi didn't love him.
- falling into the manipulation/mindfuck crap that Itachi pulled on him in general.
- killing him.
- apparently going against not only the elders of Konoha but the whole village.
- EVERYTHING HE'S EVER DONE FOR THE SAKE OF REVENGE PRIOR TO THAT POINT. But this is harder because, at this time, he doesn't actually regret this part. He knows why he did it and he accepts it. He would do it again. But there's some self-hatred related to this that I'll try to expand on.

He sees leaving the village as something necessary considering that Itachi pretty much manipulated his whole life and turned him into an avenger against his will. SO HE IS AWARE THAT HE CHOSE IT HIMSELF AND AT THE SAME TIME THAT IT WAS . . . FORCED ON HIM. Since Sasuke felt betrayed by the person he loved the most and that person took everything else that actually meant something to him, but at the same time Itachi was a manipulative bastard that pretty much told his eight years old brother that he never gave a damn about him, and then mindfucked Sasuke into hating him and becoming powerful enough to kill him.

So I think it's hard to actually say it was Sasuke's choice considering he picked it because he was doing what Itachi told him to! EVEN WHEN HE WAS FULL OF HATRED, HE LOVED HIM AND DID WHAT HE WANTED HIM TO DO. I think this is something most people forget about Sasuke, because everything he's ever done can be connected back to the fact he loved Itachi the most in the whole world. All his decisions are based on emotions. He's full of them. All the time. And Itachi manipulated that and turned his little brother into an avenger that did everything his big brother wanted. That doesn't mean I'm saying Sasuke shouldn't be blamed for everything he's done or anything, I'm just saying that it's interesting to consider his actions when you take all this into account. His whole life was shaped after emotional manipulation and a lot of mindfuck, which explains why he gravitates back to the same patterns. SASUKE WAS STILL AWARE OF HIS CHOICES.

Also Sasuke hasn't remember the massacre yet, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT, because he's not aware of how fucking bad it was even if Itachi explained almost everything to him. Which means that . . . it will only increase his self-hatred a lot, because he is aware that everything he's done is because of what Itachi did. SO THERE'S MORE THAN JUST GUILT, it's also about how much he can hate himself for his life choices and the fact Itachi ruined everything but in here he is completely refusing to hate him to the point it makes him sick at times. His codependency and unhealthy levels are part of it, because he needs to focus those feelings somehow. But getting that memory back will make him feel VERY UPSET with Itachi and I have no idea how he will react yet, but it will definitely change their dynamic a bit until it goes back to normal levels.

. . . I'm not sure if this answers your question completely. But basically Sasuke's self-hatred for his choices, but especially Itachi's death is super high because he pretty much wasn't strong enough to realize Itachi fucked up both of their lives.

HOW WOULD SAKURA ACT AROUND SASUKE ONCE SHE REMEMBERS MORE ABOUT HIM?

Well! It would depend on... what she remembered! If she got her incredible crush memories she'd honestly probably be too embarrassed to really talk to him for a while, because omg. Omggggg. If she got Shippuden memories obviously that's a lot more... complicated, in ways, but possible she could react better to those just because Sasuke has already primed her to expect him to do something bad in her memories at some point? She could also get any of her motivating speech-to-self/training memories, where she lists her drive as 'so she can protect them both', which would... well, she already worries about him, and that wouldn't help. She just might feel more of a pull to actually-- look out for him? Whereas right now she's still in that 'he outstrips me so far there is nothing I could offer him, aid-wise' area. If she gets her punching-sai memory or Sai-tells-her-Naruto-loves-her memory she will learn that both she and Naruto are willing to be completely stupid and make enemies out of their allies on Sasuke's behalf, even knowing what he's done.

So. It would go a lot of ways! Depending on what order she gets stuff in, she could either pull away or possibly completely just-- she'd probably give fewer fucks about what Sasuke's done than he does? Knowing the lengths she and Naruto go to for him without more context, and then piling her take-me-with-you memory and her abandoning-my-post-for-him memory on top of them would swing her pretty heavily Sasuke/Sasuke's well being > other things. Doing her memories in a different order could swing her the opposite. I look forward to it.

If Sasuke could pick one thing he'd want Sakura to know/understand about him, what would it be?

That he is a fucked up individual. More specifically, that he tried to kill Naruto and it probably wasn't the only time he's tried.

WHAT WOULD YOU PREFER FOR SAKURA TO REMEMBER FIRST?

Wrt Sasuke or just in general?

Both. |D

I'm gonna answer this question at 1am while I'm full of alcohol. Absolutely nothing can go wrong with this plan.

0% wrong can happen.

IN GENERAL I look forward to her getting a few more of her ruthless memories. Sakura definitely cries a lot in canon, because she is just like oh no I am full of so much Caring and such and she definitely panic-and-shame-cried a lot when she first showed up to aather -- and while she's moved on from there, she remembers that and even just the memory makes her a bit more wobbly? But I'm glad she got back her give-no-fucks memory from Sasori taunting her, because it shows her that, well... she isn't easily baited. And so I want more of those memories for her, where she can be less... emotionally jumpy? Less reactive? something like that. Where all the Suddenly: Bad! of Aather has less of a chance of emotionally see-sawing her back and forth.

Sasuke is complicated! Like, I locked all of her significant Sasuke memories initially because I really wanted a chance for her to develop on her own without shaping herself entirely around Sasuke (or Naruto, to a lesser degree), and she both has and has not, in interesting ways that I did not really expect! But, given that, I sort of feel like I should just be like...w/e character development do what you want I wash my hands of you.

By which I mean unlock everything and prioritize nothing and just see what happens.

Like playing Russian Roulette with her memories.

I think I would prefer she get her beginning-of-Shippuden memories first, because those would at least give her a basis for continuing to seek Sasuke out, when she gets her other memories later.

...Onyx goes on a road trip. What happens (this question courtesy of Raven |D)

Edited (I always forget to ask a question) 2012-01-01 09:11 (UTC)

Russian Roulette is the best way to receive memories, tbh. '-' I locked memories at first but I stopped after a point, and that's why he hasn't received the massacre back . . . IT'S HILARIOUS.

AND THE ROAD TRIP WOULD BE TERRIBLE. Sasuke would be in the back ignoring everyone, but I'm not sure what the rest of Onyx would do. BUT I'M SURE IT WOULD BE A COMPLETE DISASTER.

. . . I can't think of a question. Uh.

SAKURA'S FEELINGS ON NARUTO ATM?

Mostly she just wishes he'd come back. The second bell memory is so clearly of them having fun together while also being a really effective team, so she's like nnnng come back let me learn about youuuuuu '-'

She can't really say she 'misses' him, per se, because they really only spoke like three times before he left, but she wonders and she misses the potential. And she would have liked to spar with him. Learning ninja stuff is way easier when you have other ninjas to spar with.

How would sasuke feel about Hebi in Aather, assuming he remembered them?

He remembers them! Not enough of them, but he knows he formed another team after he killed Orochimaru and that he's the leader.

Sasuke would . . . be okay with it. He wouldn't see the point because he's leaving everything behind, but they could become potential allies that he could use. He wouldn't allow himself to care, though. HE FELT SORT OF COMFORTABLE ENOUGH AROUND THEM, but this is different. He wouldn't want them to interact with Naruto or Sakura, but he's aware that it'd be impossible to avoid that.

Sakura's current opinion on the Personae?

She doesn't like or trust them at all. When face to face with a few of them -- firebird, brother deer -- she can be like...o..kay you're really just kind of weird I guess? But as a collective whole she is pretty soured on them. She thinks at best they have no idea how to not do terrible things to the heroes and at worst actively desire it.

What does Sasuke do to relax?

:'D;;;

:B

YOU GUYS NEED NORMAL HOBBIES

chess

parcheesi

underwater basket weaving

WE COULD PLAY CHESS. Itachi is actually considering questing for a chess set.

I don't think it would lessen the unhealthy aspects of the relationship, though. :B

(no subject)

medpacksapunch - 2012-01-04 05:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

fraternalorders - 2012-01-04 05:59 (UTC) - Expand

. . . I guess it was answered for me already . . .

HE ALSO TAKES WALKS. That totally counts. '-'

REVERSE?

Walks totally count.

Sakura does not have time to relax, between the 47 people she has training her/her crazy sword-getting quest!!!

okay but when she does relax, she either hangs out in the sunflower field watching Mirror, or cleans quietly in the Onyx library. Or reads the book Sasuke gave her. I think watching Mirror is the only time she's not actively doing something.

I don't remember if you've told me-- why doesn't Sasuke like Turquoise?